I am the worst kind of Etsy shopper.

Truly. Etsy, meet your worst nightmare. Right. Here.

Etsy is sort of a magic place. You can buy everything from wooden fanged vagina's, to "tobacco" pipes ( uh huh..) to minuscule gnomes set in a plush grass setting with mini sheep all inside a 1 inch glass bottle!

I however, am the Etsy sellers worst nightmare.

You know the type. "Oh my GAWD, that is ADORABLE!!"

"Holy fuck balls! $40 for felt crazy glued to petrified racoon poop??"

"I could totally make that myself....for like, $3 and a tetanus shot"

And so on & so forth.

I've discovered the wonderfulness that is Pinterest ( you can follow me if you want, THIS is my link)

Basically you see something you are like "OOooohh" over & click PIN IT and it stores it for you & shares it with followers, or to any social networks you set up with it. It's like a new, social bookmarking site. I spose.

I had to wait like, 3 weeks for my invite, so clearly it is amazing.

Anyway, they pop up on my Facebook feed & I see pretty things I MUST save, because if I ever find $10,000 for a fridge made of goo, I probably will be thankful I bookmarked it in a SAFE place. Ok??

This morning I saw some pretty floral thing & felt fluttery inside. I clicked it only to find out it was basically felt glued to a stick glued to a magnet.

I can ttooottaalllyy make that shit.

So I did. And the bonus? I didn't prick myself with a needle, cut my finger off with the garden shears I used to hack my grape vine apart OR hot glue myself to the little pink pearlized flowers I made.

And voila! (which is not spelled wala, no matter how many beers you had the night before, even when you squint at it really hard & question it because you know it isn't right but your head really hurts because 9 girly beers is actually quite a bit. I hope you have a boyfriend from when YOU were 16 to point out that mistake, because it would be a shame if only I were so lucky) 

Take THAT Etsy!!!

Suckers.